Tuesday, March 5, 2013
AP Message Board Dropout
One of the perils of doing a lot of spinning is getting that Rihanna diamond song stuck in my head: "Shine bright like a di-ye-mand." Gah! What I wouldn't do to erase that from my mind. Well, that and the whole "we are never ever ever ever getting back together" situation. It's not even neccessarily that I dislike these songs (I'm confused by my own feelings), but I'd prefer to think another thought here or there.
By which I mean to say, I'm not anti attachment parenting. Okay, actually, those things have nothing to do with one another. I just wasn't sure how to break into the topic. See, I've felt like a bit of a sucktart since the original version of this essay was first published over a year ago. I wouldn't exactly say that I've dropped out of AP, more that I dropped out of AP message boards. My face was going to fall off my skull if I read one more debate on "kneepads for toddlers: precaution or over-protection" and that shit has nothing to do with AP, just AP message boards.
I don't self-identify as AP, but then again, I don't self-identify as anything. I didn't title the essay when it ran on Salon, though I did choose to keep the title for the Huff Po version because the editor at Salon has superior judgement on such matters. Nevertheless, despite the airy absence of AP message boards in my life, I still haul 30-pound Kasper around in an Ergo from time to time if the situation demands it, and we co-sleep. All of us. Which is not my first choice (or my second or third), but we do it because 1) it's the most efficient way to get our little darlings to STFU and snooze and 2) we live in a 700-square-foot cottage and if all the sleeping is done in one bedroom then there's a bedroom leftover to serve as my office. We are pragmatists above all else.
My original title for that essay was "Crunchy Parenting Dropout," but I think a more apt title would be "AP Message Board Dropout." Though really what was going on behind the story about "Milo Flynne's Mom" was that I was on my way to becoming a mom group dropout. I stayed in a bunch of mom groups long after my beef with "Milo Flynne's Mom," but these days I'm 100% mom group free. Don't get me wrong -- I met many wonderful mothers in those groups, many of whom are still my friends, but these days the kids and I simply meet up with the people we want to meet up with when we want to. I guess I had to go through that mommy/baby group social upheaval, but boy-oh-boy am I happy to officially no longer be a new mom.
The other day I had to go back to Urban Outfitters for a new pair of mom jeans. I didn't mind at all flagging down the 23-year-old with Skrillex hair and horn rimmed glasses to ask, "Do you have these jeans in a bigger size and, like, minus the distressing?" This is my life now and I love it. Onward!
at 8:17 PM